Illustrations paragraph 8

But if he sees from the situation that the bride's father is cheating the groom about the dowry or the support he promised, he must think very carefully before telling the groom. This needs several details:

a. He must check carefully that he is really cheating him. He must know for himself the father's bad nature of not paying, or how very poor he is, or he heard from him himself that he does not plan to keep his promise.

b. He must know clearly that if the groom knew about it, he would not agree to the match. Many times the groom only wants to get from the bride's father whatever there is, but the match itself does not depend on it. In such a case the permission to tell him surely does not apply. (Unless his words will help the groom get guarantees from the bride's father for what he promised.)

c. There must be no cheating from the groom's side. If the groom is also cheating, the two cancel each other out, and it is clear that it is forbidden to tell him.

Besides these details, all the usual details are also needed. So he should not hurry to tell, only after he has thought it over well and all the details are met.