Hilchos Lashon Hara, Opening – negative commands (16)

Sometimes he also breaks the prohibition of flattery. According to many Geonim, this is a full negative commandment (Bamidbar 35:33), "You shall not do flattery in the land."

For example: he tells the story in order to flatter the listener. He knows the listener has been an enemy of the person he is speaking about, and he hopes this will make the listener like him. Not only does he fail to do the mitzvah of rebuke - he should have rebuked the listener for hating the other person - but with his story he makes the hatred between them even stronger.

Know also that, because of our many sins, this also happens: someone speaks lashon hara, and the listener, even though he knows it is lashon hara, nods his head as if he agrees, and even adds words of his own. He does this to get some benefit from the speaker later, or so the speaker will think he is clever. This itself is the negative commandment of flattery, because he is flattering the speaker.

About this one can say the verse (Mishlei 23:2), "And put a knife into your throat if you are a worthy person." A person must even put himself in danger in order not to break such a prohibition. And the words of the sages fit here: "Better that one be called a madman all one's life, and not be called wicked before the Omnipresent for one hour."